Friday, June 15, 2012

Friday Flash Fiction: Eileen

I saw her for the first time while sitting on the bank of the pond, my afternoon sanctuary in the woods behind my house. Her head emerged from the calm water, with long blonde hair slicked back and the tips spreading out on the sunlit surface like tiny snakes dispersing in all directions. She caught sight of me immediately and produced the most beautiful smile I’d ever had directed at me. As her shoulders bobbed rhythmically with the water, I noticed she wore a collared long sleeved shirt.
I was taken aback by my unexpected visitor and had a fleeting urge to jump to my feet, but her beautiful gaze hypnotized me and kept me seated. She looked about my age, but not like any girl at my high school. She had a wild and carefree spirit that only a girl swimming in a pond fully clothed could have on a humid autumn day. Her face was completely washed clean of make-up, but her skin was so fair and flawless that it would have only distracted from her beauty.
“Hey there,” she said, almost shouting at me over nature’s conversations of birds and trees. “I’ve seen you here before.”
“You have?” I asked. My body released a shutter from her stalkerish statement. “Do you go to Rose Madden High, too?”
“Once upon a time,” she answered, gliding through the water with a graceful breast stroke.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Once upon a time there was a girl named Eileen who went to Rose Madden High.”
She found her footing as the water became shallow and stood up, now with only her legs submerged. She wore washed blue jeans below her plaid, button-down shirt, which clung tightly to her dripping body.
“Do you always go for afternoon swims in your jeans, Eileen?”
“Why, is that weird?”
“A little.”
“Then I guess I’m a little weird,” she snapped back with a smirk.
Our conversation continued uninterrupted for a few minutes, but she never got out of the water. She splashed around, back floated away, and swam back to the shallow edge—never allowing the pond to fully calm.
“Hey, Davy Boy!” a voice called to me from the thick of the trees. It was followed by the crunching of dried leaves as footsteps approached. “What, you too good to wait for us?”
I looked over my shoulder and saw Toby, Stretch, and Tiny wading through the brush.  “I got board so I went on ahead.” I turned back to Eileen and was about to introduce her to my friends (who were never going to believe I was talking to such a smoking hot girl), when I discovered she was gone. The pond was still except for an expanding ripple like someone had thrown a rock into the water. But if she was under there, she never came up for air. 

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  1. I really like this. Creepy. And I LIKE creepy.

  2. Ooh, nice. Love flash fiction like this :)

  3. I love mysterious stories like this! Good story :)

  4. I like the Skid Row tie in. Nice addition to the Friday Flash Fiction.

  5. You certainly know how to pack a whole story into a little flash... this was just the right amount of mystery all on its own. Thanks for sharing!

  6. Teresa, me too. Thank you! :)

    Carol, thanks!

    Laura, glad you liked it. :)

    Cherie, thank you! :)

    Heather, thanks!

    James, I love that song.

    T, thanks for reading! :)

  7. That was great. I wonder if she will ever come back?

  8. Excellent flash story Michael must try it sometime.


  9. Nick, it's possible. Thanks!

    Yvonne, it's almost as fun as poetry. :)

  10. I love this! I think she will come back when he's alone :)
    I like the Skid Row song too. I was an early fan of them but I haven't heard this song.

  11. Flash fiction is a lot of fun. I like a little creepy now and then. It helps balance out the universe.

  12. I fell in love with Eileen and then you took her away! Nice one Michael! Nice one.

  13. Intriguing! I wonder why she decided to talk to him that time.

  14. You simply cannot end it this way! No, no, no!! I demand a part two! I demand a sequel! Oh ok, a prequel then! Or at least one in 3D!!!!!

    Note to self: must return every Fridays here for more gobsmackingly awesome stories! Awesome!

    Take care

  15. Heather, their third album was very different, but has some great songs.

    Stephen, thank you!

    Clay, she'll be back one day. Thanks!

    Eagle, good question, I'll have to think about that.

    Kitty, I'm excited by your excitement! :)


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