Thursday, July 19, 2012

Friday Flash Fiction: Under Sally's Watch

Today's flash fiction is my entry for Candilynn's Follow My Lead Contest. The prompt given is the picture below.

Under Sally’s Watch

The explosions in the distance look like fireworks. Lindi is perched upon her window sill, overlooking the violent festivities. She calmly combs the knots in her wavy, chestnut hair with her callused fingers and makes a wish.  

Marcus is out there somewhere, fighting to hold them back, and her wish is that she’ll be able to see him again. He’s been gone for three days, but she has faith in her brother’s skills. He’s taught her everything he knows—like an older brother should. At least he left her in Sally’s protective hands.

The quakes from crashing buildings shake her high-rise apartment tower. The panic of hopeless pedestrians fills the street below. But she has no intention of running. The sweat across her brow and beading along her forearms is from the summer evening heat, and nothing else. In her favorite dark tank top and faded shorts, she waits like an owl scanning for mice, eager to swoop down at the perfect moment and extend her experienced talons.

When the first soldiers reach the street below, she knows it is time to step away from the window. Lindi hops down from the sill, the wooden floor slippery under her bare feet. She snatches the Savage 110 BA sniper rifle leaning against the wall, kneels before the window, and takes aim. Gazing intently into the telescopic sight, Lindi finds her first target. He is young, probably on his first tour, in way over his head.

“Steady, Sally,” she says, exhaling slowly while grazing the trigger.

Lindi fires one shot and he goes down with an arch of blood outstretching before him. Thinking of how Marcus is out there somewhere, she scans the street for her next target.


  1. Excellent work! I wasn't expecting the story to go in that direction! :D

  2. Very intense and evocative. I loved the image of her waiting like an owl.

  3. Excellent! Like Nick, I loved the owl imagery too.

  4. I love Lindi's character. Smart, strong and protective

  5. Love this!
    Your Friday flashes are my treat for the week.

  6. Lindi is a strong, brave character. I hope she meets up with Marcus.

  7. Kyra, glad you liked it. :)

    Nick, thank you!

    Alex, I came up with that after I wrote the first draft, feeling I'd found what was missing.

    Elise, thank you.

    Heather, thanks!

    Carol, thanks so much! :)

    Medeia, I like to believe she will.

  8. I like how I thought Sally was a person at first. That was a clever surprise. :) Very cool!

  9. Great twist at the end! I was not expecting Sally to be the rifle. Well done Micheal.

  10. Excellent flash fiction piece, Michael. BTW, loving Provex City. The whole shoplifting thing was great although I question, why are all security guards fat? LOL If you're gonna catch teenagers, you better be hitting the cardio...

  11. Love the vibe... great feel. :)

  12. Great job. This is a great piece. I love FF that twists. :)

  13. I really enjoyed the twist at the end. Nice work!


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